Confessions of an Undercover Tatter

As told to Cormac, Beloved Friend and Advisor....(loud clearing of throat)


It all began when I was sent on a mission across the Big Pond to befriend the dear Tatting Goddess (whom I've come to think of as The Royal Klutz lately). I was warmly welcomed and had the greatest fun poking around in her thread and bead stash and pouring through her books and albums. She showered me with affection and of course, we grew closer and closer, sharing tea on a regular basis and the occasional sip of wine. She shared with me the joy of her first split ring and then the triumph of her first split chain, then double picots and self-closing mock rings. She mourned the loss of discontinued favorite threads and the loss of patterns that disappeared into the mysterious black hole of a "safe place." We laughed and we cried together, hugging, giggling, trusting.



And then she told me...

She was an undercover tatter. She tatted in secret. Sometimes for weeks and months on end. I could tell she was beginning to crack under the pressure.

"How did this happen?" I asked.

"I don't know!" she sobbed. "At first, it was just a small surprise. A little tatting every month for a special reader of my blog."

"Yes? and then what?" I prodded.

"And then I added a mystery motif every month...you know, just to jazz the atmosphere up a little. It was fun teasing everyone...."

"Yes! Go on!" I pleaded.

"And then there was this "Secret Santa" thing that I do every year - it should not have been too much to do. I got to be extra sneaky and throw out hints and tease even more. " she said.

"Yes, Yes!" I knew she was very close to revealing something.

"Oh, but I shouldn't bother you, dear Cormac! You've been such a kind friend to me. Let's go have some ice cream!"

Oh, let me tell you, I was soooooo tempted...ice cream...whooah yummy yummy whoo-hoo! But I was so close to knowing her secret!

"ummm....I'm not in the mood for ...ice (gulp) cream just now..tell me more about your ...undercover activities. Please...it will do you good, make you feel better. I want you to feel better." I was practically begging her now.

"mmmm..oh, all right...well, then there was this special project for someone. Hush-hush, you know. It'll all come out before long."

"Really? Please please please let me see!!" Now I was groveling.

"No, I couldn't!" she cried.

...silence...

I knew she wanted to tell me. I waited. Suspense was building.





"Promise you won't tell?" she asked me.

"Oh no, not me, never! My lips are sealed." I said.

"Well, you know there's this Secret Valentine thingie going on now, and I have the special thing I'm tatting for the latest monthly winner, and well...I finished the special project!" she whispered...smiling slyly.

"Um Hum." I pretended disinterest but my tummy was screaming for ice cream. COME ON LADY! SPILL THE BEANS!!!!

"Okay, I'm going to just show you a tiny bit...and I'm not telling you which is what...so don't you even ask!" she scolded sternly. "Look the other way a minute, I have to disguise them a little bit. Not that I don't trust you," she added lightly.



"Okay, you can look now!".

I held my breath as I slowly turned around. Oh my! What can these be?

"Who is this for?" I asked.

She shook her head from side to side furiously. "Cormac! I can't tell you!"

"Hmmm...well, WHAT is this?" I asked, as if I didn't hear her scolding me.

"harummph!"

Obviously I wasn't making any brownie points with my innocent questioning.

"OH come ON! You gotta tell me about THIS one!" I exclaimed.

(BIG SIGH) "I think I'm going to have some ice cream anyway...how about you?"

Wham...I'm outta here!



Did I leave something in drafts?